merci, les enfants terribles

Avec toi, j'ai la vie sans temps mort ! N'ennui, ni mort, ni guichetier devant moi!

Attempts on articulating loss, apocalypse, decay, and being 22.

Eidos/Eros

Mautmu

Parousia

itu mata

--lindap tergenang

harusnya padam

menyusur tikam

itu senja

mampir sedekap

pada tilam

Kalki

Kematian

adalah cahaya

yang masuk

dari pintu

yang setengah terbuka

Celan

badam

benam

malam

silam

Episoda Film Bisu untuk Desbaresdes

untuk Poe

Sebaris fuga berdencing

di kamar itu,

hotel itu

Camar hitam

dari jauh membayang nafas

antara gorden lapuk

pada musim itu kesaksian tak ubahnya alleluia di ujung rute penghabisan.

desember 2006

deux ou trois choses que je sais de lui

apakabar ayahanda? maaf merampas kesunyianmu dengan berlembar-lembar surat. sudahkah kau membacanya?

jakarta jakarta revisited

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'D OVERRATED AMI PRIJONO’S JAKARTA JAKARTA! The script was fully heavy-handed when it came to portray class conflict-based society whether by putting altogether politically-correct social commentaries (A.K.A Ami Prijono’s 40 nights and 40 days of excessive montage debauchery) or by playing soggy tearjerker in the end. It’s impressionism (as, too, put on plot and cinematography), it’s cynicism, but it’s also undeniably fake intellectual orgasm: so many shitholes and improper uses of classical soviet montage, besides some symbolic undertones which made it no better as in a scene when El Manik saved by the limp guy and a neighborhood hooker rendering a biblical allusion. And also notice the action sequence when El Manik’s infinitesimal-oh-that’s-my-savior scene turned caricatural as mundane as mondo-esque ITA SI ANAK PUNGUT serials (while Prijono also involved himself in the productions). I’m highly suspicious Warner Bros funded this project due to both its noirish realism and clamoring sentimentalism—following the hushhush of ironically Russo-Warner Bros. cooperation with local petty bourgeoisie and reactionary proletarians at that time--considered one of the most important conspiracy by the deed. Sexually speaking (as long as its complete title was no longer than KEKUASAAN, UANG, DAN SEX DALAM JAKARTA JAKARTA) this film was a work of jolt of pure energy...from an unbedded virgin. One of zillion points Ami really wanted to say in this film was like, “Jakarta’s too crowded and poorly misguided and lost its charm and energy at its peak point of development. You came here, made a living but then your life get you assfucked.” And he was indeed assfucked by these problems on the same cause of Jakarta itself: “Napsu Gede Tenaga Kurang”.

But the casts did better. Rae Sita played as power-dressing bitch mother figure with solemn Javanese attitude (think of aging Kathleen turner with Liv Ullmann’s face); adulterously charming but virginal Ricca Rachim as sexually repressed catholic school girl (If Gus Van Sant were the producer, she’d have the dykier personae at least until hormonal El Manik seduce her); and juvenile fatcat Rudi Salam (no wonder, being a predecessor of Agus Melasz, only maniacally corporate-greed face of Michael Douglas in The Game and Wallstreet would exactly compare him), the limp guy’s cast (I don’t even know his name) was a total resemblance to pot-intoxicated Steve Buscemi trying to be discreet but end up rabble-rouser by nature.

ma vie en rose

amoureux de toi. encore.

Vers Minuit

Ses yeux luiraient dans l'obscurité de la nuit. On m’a dit que sa beauté déchirant quand elle s’enivrée seulement. On n’avait pas trop sujet en parler sauf les tableaux des revues agées, ou la musique de la chambre, ou les films, mais nos yeux qui se parler gentilement. Mais les lueurs de nos verres qui ont tous les baissers opprimés sont envoyés par siens vitraux. On aura recontrer l’un pour l’autre bientôt, (et pourtant, plus pudique bien sûr!). Je me suis reveilé tout seul ce matin…mais toi, pourquoi n’es-tu pas ici pour m’éveiller?

Last Year in Marienbad

“Das ewige Nacht ist okay, wenn man entsprechend gekleidet ist.” (Woody Allen)

Dia berjalan siang. Tapi gaunnya malam. Selalu malam. Mereka jalan siang-siang di taman. Tapi tak ada bayangan. Adakah malam lalai menggauli siang sehingga siang tak melahirkan bayangan? Adakah arsitek yang terobsesi membangun empat taman dengan bentuk identik sekaligus di depan, belakang, kanan, dan kiri hotel, supaya kau bisa menghindari hari? Apakah itu caramu menolak kuasa waktu, delphine?